Getting Rougher

Things have gone a little rough for me these days.

Series of events led to my emotional downfall, though I've pondered on these things,
some I have managed to cope, however few left unprocessed.

I have been keen in keeping up with my schedules, things and space, in short I love neat and order. But there are things in which my power could no longer have impact on. Am I so powerless over these things.

People surrounding me and life's condition had dominated me instead of me leading them to what they're supposed to be.

Setting up expectations on things and people had brought so much frustrations on me. Then I tried not to expect, I tried to live by faith, yet I grew weary.

At times I've been wondering why my works have no significance or equal to other people, good deeds result to nothing. My works were ignored, disregarded, worst rejected.

I've been trying to gather some realization on these things, ponder on to ideas that could give me some specific answer. But I failed. Nothing have I gained.

In thoughts, am I the only one having these imaginings and realities? Or am I just too emotional not to cope up with these?

Have I been dependent on men and on to what they do? Or have I been ignoring my God in ways that I have not realized?

No matter how you perceived it, guilt is eating me up.

I'm pretty well aware that I'm not perfect nor anybody else, yet I have always been aiming to be better. Not with anybody else but a better me everyday - which I believed is way more important than comparing yourself to others.


May the Good GOD Bless us all.