Thursday, April 22, 2010

Born to be Reborn

April 20, 2010.

Days have gone old and so do I. Yet as I looked back all these years I saw nothing but few spots of good deeds that I have done. There are more blank spaces in which I interpreted as my unwanted ways.

And so while I'm reflecting on the years gone by, I realized that I'm almost half way to setting.

What did I do with my life? What have I done with my dreams? Where's my youth? How did I not focus?

I've had lots and lots of regrets with all the things and opportunities that I had not took chances, I grieved on what I have done wrong and on what good have I not done.

As I try to scan the pages of my years, with remorse I sigh a lot. Humbled I cried.

I felt hopeless for I know nothing I could do to change my past. Regrets, regrets and full of it.

Through the years I have tried to cover up my regrets with things that would cheer me up. Not realizing that there's always two sides in everything, I chose the wrong side of the coin.

Now my past has a foothold on me. And the torn is not something easy to bear. It eats up my endurance to hold on to life. My present is totally impaired. I've been feeling it - I am dying.

And my faith is slowly wearying out too. It frightens me a lot. Though I know GOD hears my cries, yet most of the time I let anxiety blurred my vision of HIM.

So I turned to people. Family and friends whom I can trust. But even in their presence, I felt hopeless. I felt fear. So I urged them to encourage me and to lift even a single part of me for hope, and it helped. It helped to the point that I gained my strength, to the point that I feel living again, yet it only remains for a very short while, then it's gone. And so I asked and asked - to the point of their exhaustion. And when they're all exhausted I felt pity for them, much more I pity myself.

So then I turned to church. I tried to explore few ministries that I could keep myself busy with. I let myself be part of activities that I know I enjoy. I tried exploring the remainder of my talents and gifts. And I have given it all. It made me glad that I tried not to get away with it. But it too remains for a very short while, then it's gone.

Now I'm damaged and emptied out of joy. In my everyday dealing with people I tried to hide the feeling. I hid the pain. I pretended I'm alright but am I not. And then I cried, a lot.

I have been searching for GOD yet I always fell into something ungodly. Things that add to my regrets.

I know I'm still holding on to my childhood dreams, yet doing what I'm doing at the present, my dreams are way out of my sight.

In hopelessness I turned to listen to our pastor's teachings on ways how to know GOD in a practical way.

So then it came.

Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Like a shepherd, Jesus is there all along waiting for me to call for Him. I was lifted up.

As I continue listening to the teachings of Jesus, I was humbled in faith. And I cried. I cried a lot.

I know I am damaged and hollow, yet God's words had given me hope. Words that are full of compassion to sinful people - I myself included.

I know once in my life I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, yet I kept on forgetting it. Though I was holding to God, I too was clinched to my old worldly ways and ideas. I confessed I forgot I have Jesus at times.

And so I realized that my life had turned out this way because I, myself let it be and not let God be in it at all times. I've took control of my life, more I welcomed sin in it. In my comprehension, it's clear that without God in me, sin, suffering, pain and hopelessness took over.

And upon hearing His words again, I hungered for more words from Jesus. I hungered for salvation. I hungered for life.

Through my Zen Creative mp3, as our church's pastor was delivering a message of healing and salvation, I was moved by it. And I cried. I cried a lot.

The date was April 20, 2010 that I finally realized, comprehended and understood that it's Jesus I need, as my God and my Savior in my life. That I rebuked all sins and evil ways.

No one else but only Jesus completes, heals and saves.

I took note of the date for it's now a very important date of my life, the date when I was reborn through Jesus Christ.

And now living as a responsible Christian, with all my heart I have to proclaim and shout it. That beyond all miseries, heartaches, diseases and pains, I have my God, my Jesus that heals, protects, hears, comforts, cares, loves and saves me from eternal death. That when I am with Jesus I know I can do anything, for I believed that He is the God of the impossibles.

Phillipians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Jesus is a living God who reigns!

And though I know that my physical body may wear out and die, my soul will be lifted up through Jesus Christ.

All these years I've realized that living a life in this world is not simple, nor easy. There will be a so much pain, agony, discomfort, criticisms, condemning, hatred, jealousy, worldly pleasures, lusts, heartaches, rejections and all sorts of fears.
But living in simplicity through Jesus will you then say that life isn't just about pain, for there's healing in Jesus, not all about agony for there's serenity, not all about discomfort for in Jesus we are comforted, not all about criticisms and faultfinding for Jesus sees all the good in us, not about condemning but acceptance, not all about hatred because Jesus has first loved us, not about jealousy for Jesus has provided what is enough for all, nor it's about worldly pleasures for we are sons and daughters of God, citizens and heirs of heaven, not all about lusts for in Jesus there will be fulfillment of real and true happiness, not all about heartaches for in Jesus we all are emotionally secured, neither rejections for Jesus considers you as a member of the family and there will be no more fears for there's salvation in Jesus.

All you have to do is believe.

And when you finally do, then you'd say that life in this world, no matter how tough and hard it may be, only through Jesus then it's definitely worth living.

As my days are coming to an end, knowing Jesus Christ led me to eradicate all my regrets and live my present to the fullest. We've been given once shot in life and life is too short for us not to enjoy God's creation. And even if we believed that we have wasted much time, use the remainder of your life to praise and glorify God here on earth. So practice now, for we will continue praising and worshiping God for eternity in heaven.

Our pastor has shared a simple equation on how to live life to the fullest. In everyday life, we've been given choices, it's an opportunity to do good or a chance to do bad. You always have to choose, and in choosing, forget not to pray, and always remember to consider :

none for satan
less of Me
ALL for GOD!


Higher Power said...

It feels me with joy to hear your story as my date was the 10th of May 2011. I was interested to find if people who have been truely reborn recall this important and incrediable date in their lifes. It would be magical if others were to join me and add their date and mmaybe their story.